I’ve read about four chapters in this book and to be honest I’ve heard many of the things said so far when I was younger. It always amazes me though how the same word can have a different level of depth as you grow.
Basically, in the book, he is looking at dating in the common day and comparing it to Bible scripture. it’s really good. But I just had a thought from something he said.
He writes, “when we get into a disagreement, it’s not my wife’s beauty that helps resolve the conflict..”
In this particular chapter he is talking about how love at first sight doesn’t always make for a successful marriage. More often than not, the outward takes precedence over inward beauty. Outward beauty doesn’t last but the inward heart does. In fact it tends to become more refined with age if allowed to flourish under Gods word. It can also go in the opposite direction unfortunately and so that brings him to his main point. That we need to get our minds in check when it comes to what we value the most; inward or outward beauty.
This is something I knew but I don’t think I ever thought of as deeply as I do now. Hearing about the reality, i find it more important to know that the person I marry has a heart after God’s. A heart willing to show grace when undeserved and resolve conflicts in healthy ways.
I bring this up to say that I see the importance of seeking God now as a single man, because I want to be that for my wife. I don’t want to be the reason conflicts go unresolved. I want to seek to be the peacemaker. I know my flaws. I know I can get frustrated and let my emotions get the better of me.
I’ve heard it said like this: that a relationship is like a triangle. The bottom ends are you and the other, and at the top is God. If you seek God and follow the line upward the angle and space between you gets closer.
I was also speaking with some coworkers the other day when they asked what I look for in someone who I want to date. The answer to me seemed simple. Someone who loves Jesus. Of course there’s other things I would like, But ultimately it’s Someone who knows God personally because it brings me comfort to know that they trust in God no matter the circumstances; and life brings you that and then some.
I obviously know everyone is flawed and we get hurt the worst by those we love the most. So it’s such a big comfort knowing that the person you’re with, will love you like Jesus does. The Bible says to forgive as he forgives. God has forgiven us of much, as believers, so forgiveness should be second nature. The reality is that being with someone will bring a lot of those circumstances where you will have to choose to forgive.
I want to be someone who responds to circumstances with the mind of Christ. It’s hard knowing praying for that will ultimately lead up to situations I find uncomfortable but I don’t want to run away from those if it makes me better at them. At least not anymore.
Anyways, with that I will end this blog.