No, I’m not talking about the television sitcom. haha I’m going to be talking about the book im reading so far called Made for Friendship. This book is fascinating; breaking down why friendship is one of the most important things in our lives.
Friendship is irremovably synonymous with the best memories we have. It is most likely that if you think about moments where you were the happiest, it would be surrounded with people you love. As I reflect on my own memories, I think about the time I hosted a murder mystery party. I think about all my friends that showed up to be a part of it. I can even remember everyone that came to that party. I planned, sent out invites, and wrote the script for the whole night and everyone loved it. I couldn’t have been happier in that moment.
That being said, friendship is a blessing, a gift from God. Something God said was essential in our lives. We were made for friendship. One person can not imitate the communal nature of God. HE created Adam and Eve. It was the only thing that God called “very good” compared to all of creation. I’ve learned that the Bible uses adjectives in a very special manner. It is only used to highlight somethings importance. Saying something is good in the Bible is accomplishment in and of it self, but when you add something in front of it, it takes it to a whole new level.
Something that caught my eye as I’ve read was the fact that God says it is not good for man to be alone. Like I said before one person cannot imitate the communal nature of God. God is three in one; father, son and Holy Spirit. the Bible says also ” Let us make them in our image.” If we are made in his image we are also made to commune with one another just as the Father, son and Holy Spirit do.
Another thing I thought was interesting was the fact that loneliness is especially detrimental to the total wellness of an individual. People in an elderly age whither quicker when they are found to be alone than when they are in a community. Japan’s number 2 health crises a few years ago was suicide. This is in large part due to overwork and social isolation. They even have a booming industry for only companionship, where people go just to have someone to talk.
The last thing I’d like to point out from the book was the effects of isolation. nothing could be more clearly said than what C.S Lewis had to say:
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” -C.S. Lewis
Further into that passage, he says the only place outside of heaven to be perfectly safe from all the dangers of love is Hell. What he is saying is that to love is to be vulnerable but to not love is to damn yourself.
We are made for friendship. But to be friends, means to be vulnerable, and to be vulnerable is to invite hurt sometimes. A lot of people say they don’t need friendship because of this very reason. because they’ve been hurt. Everybody has been hurt, some more than others. But it’s not prudent to think that since one person hurt you that you need to isolate yourself from everyone. There will be that one friend who is closer to you than a brother or sister. There will be someone, who can still hurt you, but overall still cares for your well-being to try there best not to. Cherish those friendships, nourish them. you can have friends as wide as the ocean but what we really need is a friend to go deep as far as the ocean can go.
with that I will end this blog.